this tends to happen

when i hold my heart out to you,
you take it.
again and again you take it.

again and again i give it,
because i don't have any other choice.

maybe you don't care,
maybe you just don't see.

so i end up disappointed.
always disappointed.
trying to hide the tears,
fighting against the needless hurt.

discouraged.
all that came before,
all the good times, the happy times
are washed away,
faded like a lost memory.

but still i sit here,
waiting,
always waiting.

writings. . .

please put on the face,
the one with the smile
i'll need it to remember.

wipe that look of sorrow from your eyes
i don't have any regrets.
hold me close just one last time,
before you go for good.

i'm holding my heart together with both hands
hoping that it won't go to pieces once you leave.
i'm holding it out to you
it's my world.
it could be yours -
if only you'd stay.

but i know you can't stay...
i know that you have to go -
no matter what this place might hold for you.

i don't think i'm strong enough yet
don't leave me here
please stay.
stay til the tears dry,
til the ache stops.

please put on the face,
the one with the smile.
in case it's all i have let...

because it's all i have left.